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The 100 FUNNIEST gamer jokes
1. My favorite game is Grand Theft Auto, you can do virtually anything.
I was able to experience raping a child, robbing a charity shop and killing a Jew with my steel crowbar.
Then I went home to play Grand Theft Auto.
2. My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.
I started thrashing about and roared “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”
3. You know when you walk into a room and forget why you went in there?
That’s God playing Sims, he just canceled your action.
4. My friend and I were talking about Call of Duty earlier and he said, “I bet Hitler would have been a better player than you ever will.”
Confused, I asked him why.
He replied, “Well, because he’s got a kill-to-death ratio of 6 million to 1.
5. Hitler was one of the most evil men in history.
He ordered the mass genocide of 6 million Jews and was pretty much responsible for kicking off World War II.
Although, on the plus side, if he hadn’t have done all that there would be no Call of Duty: World at War
6. Dating a single mother:
It’s like continuing from somebody else’s saved game.
7. A religious person came up to me the other day and asked me if I believed in evolution or creationism.
I replied “I believe in evolution. How else would Charmander become Charizard?”
8. Describe your sex life using pokemon moves
Mine;
Leer Flash Harden…but it failed Withdraw Sleep
9. My smartass 14-year-old son challenged me to a game of Tekken the other day, in front of his mates.
I finished him off with a killer combo in under 30 seconds, before proudly exclaiming, “Who’s your Daddy?”
He replied, “Mum says it was probably the milkman.”
The little bastard.
10. Q: WHERE DOES SPIRIT BREAKER GO PEE???
A: THE BARATHRUM
11. Lina is red CM is blue Don’t take my farm Cyka fuck you.
12. Q: Whats the river’s name in dota?
A: I’m pretty sure it’s The River Fag. I’ve been told I few times ‘don’t cross the river fag’
13. Yo momma is so fat, when Rubick tried to steal a spell from her all he got was diabetes.
14. Spirit breaker would make a horrible salesman.
Because he’d charge too much.
15. Your mom is so dumb if silencer kills her, he loses int.
16. Yo mama so fat, the chat wheel can’t decide on which lane she is.
17. Yo mama so fat, that when Bounty Hunter tracks her, he has a vision all over the map.
18. Yo mama so fat, if Naix infests her it takes him ten minutes to get back out.
19. What’s Tidehunter’s least favorite game?
Command and Kunkka
20. So. Ursa walks into Roshan’s den and says, “Roshan, I haven’t seen you in Aegis!”
21. Q: What do you call a Pokemon who can’t move very fast?
A: A Slow-poke
22. What is the national sport of Minecraft?
Boxing.
23. Yo mama so fat, SHE is a board on the MARIO PARTY GAMES!
24. Wives are like computer games.
When you get bored you cheat…
25. Yo mamma so fat even Kirby can’t eat her
26. If there will ever be a Minecraft movie, then it would be a blockbuster.
27. Q: What did Wario name his art supply store?
A: World of Wario Crafts
28. Yo mama so fat that she counts as a 5 kill streak on Call Of Duty.
29. My girlfriend just left me because of my overwhelming obsession with Assassin’s Creed…
I tried to explain I can’t Altair the past!
30. Q: What do you get if you tape a stick of dynamite to a hedgehog? A: SONIC BOOM!
31. What is a pigman’s favorite cereal?
Golden nuggets.
32. Yo mama so fat she broke the 64 block limit on Minecraft.
33. Who is the cleanliest Street Fighter?
Dudley, because he always takes out the gutter trash.
34. I was having a hard time decorating all the parts in my mycelium build; there was just too mooshroom.
35. Q: What do you call the Nintendo Wii in France?
A: A Nintendo Yes
36. How many silvers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they can’t even climb the ladder.
37. Yo mama so fat when she plays Mortal Kombat, Sub Zero cant freeze her.
38. Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on my 3DS she turned it into a 2DS.
39. How good is Minecraft?
Top-Notch!
40. Q: What did Shang Tsung say to the Aztec witch doctor?
A: Your soul is Mayan.
41. How do you get Pikachu on a bus?
You poke-em-on!
42. I’m a massive computer game geek, and people keep telling me to get a life.
Then I thought to myself, I don’t need to get a life, I’m a gamer so I have lots of lives.
43. After I took the wool off a sheep, it told me, “Sheariously?”
44. A sad horse walks into a bar. The villager that is the bartender says: “Now, why the long face?”
45. Yo mamas so fat if you slice her in fruit ninja, you automatically win the game!
46. Why can’t the Ender Dragon read a book?
Because he always starts at the End.
47. Q: What does a gorilla wear to the beach?
A: Donkey thong.
48. What did the Minecraft turkey say?
cobble, cobble, cobble!
49. Did you hear about the murder of the snow golem?
It became a cold case.
50. How do you make people change direction in Minecraft?
You Block their path.
51. Yo mama so ugly when she plays Mortal Kombat, Scorpion said “Stay over there”
52. Q: Why did Dante not cut onions?
A: Because he was afraid of the Devils May Cry.
53. You’re so bad at RPGs when somebody asks you where you’re stuck, you say, “The file select screen.”
54. What did the teacher say to the curious jungle cat?
You sure do Ocelot of questions.
55. What is a creeper’s favorite subject?
HisssSSSSStory
56. Your momma is so stupid, she won’t play Candy Crush cause she has diabetes.
57. What did the chicken say to the cow?
Pleased to meat you.
58. Q: Where did Mario buy his lunch?
A: Mario Mart.
59. What kind of parties do Minecraft players have?
“Block” parties.
60. What is sonic the hedgehog’s favourite season?
Spring.
61. Q: How did Sagat cure Ryu from the measles?
A: By giving him a Tiger Shot.
62. Q: Why did Mario cross the road?
A: Because he couldn’t find the warp zone!
63. What’s Ryo Hazuki’s favorite drink?
Hi-C.
64. Q: What is Mario’s favourite play?
A: Mamma Mia!
65. Q: What was Bomberman arrested for?
A: Indecent Explosure.
66. Q: What’s Samus’ favorite food?
A: Metroid Prime Rib.
67. What did Steve say to his girlfriend?
I dig you.
68. Why does Donkey Kong always brush his teeth?
To prevent tooth DK.
69. Where did Noble Six go for a vacation?
Halo beach.
70. Q: What is a Tomb Raider’s favorite after school snack?
A: Croft’s macaroni and cheese
71. You’re so bad at Castlevania Adventure that you say you need a slow-motion controller to play it well.
71. Q: Which video game system is always late for school?
A: Atardi
72. What’s a Street Fighter’s favorite car?
A ’91 Honda.
73. A zombie walks into work, and his boss tells him, “Did you get enough sleep last night? You look a bit dead this morning…”
74. Where did Captain Price buy his car?
Modern car fair.
75. You’re so bad at Tetris, on two-player mode, a guy can beat you with a controller that has broken left and right buttons
76. Why does Donkey Kong eat bananas?
Because he finds them a-peeling!
77. Why did the enderman cross the road?
He didn’t, he Teleported.
78. How does Steve chop down trees with his fists?
How wood I know?
79. Q: Why did Ash get arrested?
A: Because while you were in the bathroom he took a Pikachu.
80. While driving yesterday, I saw a banana skin in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it.
Thanks, Mario Kart.
81. So I was playing Skyrim, the dragon roared at me, I ignored it and carried on.
The beast, again, roared in a violent temper. Pissed off, I threw my controller down.
“Okay, I’ll go and look for a fucking job”, I told her.
82. How does Steve get his exercise?
He runs around the block.
83. My 8-year-old son got the Sims for Christmas, he was showing me around his house where he showed me his wife sleeping in her bed, in the kitchen. I’m so proud of that boy.
84. Yo mama so ugly, when she played Minecraft all the enderman teleported away to another server.
85. Q: What did Link use to win the basketball game?
A: His hookshot.
86. What do you get when you cross the Madden NFL video game and a sick hamburger?
A: Madden Cow Disease
87. What’s Cobblestone’s favorite music?
Rock music.
88. Q: What’s a Street Fighter’s favorite dessert?
A: Abel Pie.
89. Have you heard of the creeper that went to a party?
He had a BLAST!
90. Why don’t blazes ever make businesses?
They keep firing people!
91. How did Steve feel when he spent hours mining only to find nothing but coal?
Shafted.
92. What did the chicken say to the ocean?
Nothing, it just waved.
93. What did the chicken say to the sheep?
Pleased to meet ewe.
94. What do you get if you push a music box down a mineshaft?
A flat minor.
95. Q: How did Snake save on car insurance?
A: By switching to Gekko!
96. Why did the Creeper cross the road?
To get to the other sssssssssSSSSSSSSSsside.
97. So, Pokemon Black came out this weekend.
Gotta Catch Jamal.
98. Yo mama so ugly she broke fix-it-Felix Jr.’s hammer.
99. I’ve just been playing The Sims.
My wife keeps getting into arguments because I don’t have much of a social life. My fish just died. My son keeps coming up to me telling me he’s hungry. So I built a little square room on the side of our house and put him and my wife in it, locked the door and went back upstairs to play The Sims.
100. What’s an enderman’s favorite band?
Imagine Dragons!
submitted by brtdee to gamermeatgamer

What I have learned in 5 months of making music [Extremely long wall of text]

[WARNING: GREAT WALL OF CHINA TIER TEXT]
Brief Introduction
Hello everyone. My name is Emre and I’m ½ of the synthwave duo Big Game Hunter, from Istanbul, Turkey. In this post, I’m going to talk about our journey of 5 months since we’ve started making music, from beginning to present. I’m going to share some things I’ve learned, some problems we’ve encountered, how we’ve dealt with them or how we couldn’t deal with them. I’m planning to write this post with some sort of narrative style, going to give a lot of real life opinions and experiences unrelated to music, and talk about how those things affected our music making and learning process. And since I’ve mentioned it and I don’t want to use the phrase “in my opinion” in every one of my sentences from now on, I should state that most of the stuff I’ll be writing is based on personal experience, so they might be extremely subjective, and some people might and probably will disagree with my opinions. Hell, even I might disagree with myself 2 months from now as I learn new stuff and have a different perspective towards certain stuff. Also I might use musician or producer, instead of writing musician/producer every single time, just think of them as interchangeable. I’m pretty sure some of the stuff I’m going to write here are already told a million times by other people, but I’ll try my best to make it interesting. I might use some bad words here and there, so I want to apologize in advance if that bothers you.
I hope I can pass on some useful informaton for beginners just like I am, or I can simply just resonate and maybe even become friends with some people who had similar experiences, walking down the same road.
Chapter 1 – Just do it, but don’t have any big expectations
I have a close friend of mine since elementary school, I’d rather not name him, but he’s a famous actor. He starred in some primetime TV shows as lead or at least major roles. He used to go to business school before becoming an actor, but in fact he wasn’t actually going to school, but he was taking acting classes and such, and chasing a dream there. After he landed a big role in some primetime TV show, I’ve heard about it and called him to congratulate him and talk to him about how the hell it happened (I didn’t even know he was trying to become an actor even though he is a close friend). You know what he said to me? He said “I just did it”. I’m not going write the whole conversation we’ve had but he said something in our conversation which stuck with me, and probably the sole reason I’ve started making music. He said something like;
“Man, everyone is always talking about doing stuff and not doing shit afterwards, “I’m thinking of starting to exercise, I’m thinking of going on a diet, I’m thinking of writing a book etc.” and they don’t do shit. The way I’ve become an actor is; I stopped thinking of becoming an actor and started working towards becoming one.”
I’ve scraped this mentality in my head after that. We are going to release our debut album in 4 weeks and I’m officially becoming a musician, and it’s all because of this.
Ok so I’m not gonna write down a fairytale kinda story and leave it at that. There is a reason the title of Chapter 1 isn’t just “Just do it”.
Guys, I want you to understand one simple thing. It’s very simple, very straightforward, but read it carefully.
This is a lottery.
I’m just gonna throw some random numbers to make a point, I hope you don’t mind. There are over a million people in Turkey who wants to be a successful actor but only 0.000001% of them become one. He could’ve just as easily failed to become an actor and become a nobody. But you can’t win the lottery without buying a lottery ticket, and he did that. I did that, we are doing that. Ofcourse not everyone makes music with becoming rich and famous in mind, and I’ll get to that later in the post.
Don’t buy a lottery ticket thinking you are going to win. Be smart, be realistic. Know that it’s extremely unlikely that you are going to win, but do it for the thrill or whatever reason you might have. Same goes for making music. Do it, just don’t expect that you are going to become Lazerhawk overnight. There is a chance that you might not even become half as big if you do this your entire life. Accept that. I’m not going to make statements like “Make music if you like it, or for the sake of art. Don’t make music in hopes of getting famous.” etc. I believe these kind of statements are extremely shallow for the topic in hand, which I believe is extremely complicated. Also further in the article, I will somewhat contradict with myself on this matter. There must be a sweet spot between both perspectives which I haven’t been able to find yet.
Chapter 2 - My motivation behind making music, how I started, how I look at it in general
The reason I’ve chosen making music over doing other things is just simple. I’ve always been passionate about music and wanted to make some of my own. Also a huge contributing factor was, I’m 26 years old and I’ve started to get bored of playing video games, reading or watching tv shows/movies in my free time. I wanted to do something different and productive to break this cycle.
So I got FL studio, which seemed most user friendly and cost efficient to me at the time, its interface looked easy to pick up, and there were a lot of tutorials on youtube which would help me to get started.
I don’t know how to play any instruments, I didn’t have any musical background and I had no idea about music theory. But I had passion and everything I needed, a computer and a set of functional ears.
Most people, more often than not, don’t think that much about how lucky our generation is when it comes to certain aspects of life. I’ve started a journey of becoming a musician in my living room without knowing any of the things I’ve mentioned above. This is actually incredible. One of the most mind-blowing, most amazing thing ever when you think about it. 20-30 years ago people didn’t have this opportunity. If you are “thinking” of making music, and not doing it in 2018, you are disrespecting yourself and intentionally missing out on stuff, and making a lame excuse for it. Ofcourse there are exceptions to every rule.
Maybe you’re the type of person that wants to become a professional musician, like Deadmau5 big, and unless you have an above average chance of becoming that, you wouldn’t want to risk putting your time into making music, because your lifestyle doesn’t support that. Like, for example I can’t become a doctor now even if I wanted to. I mean, if I really wanted it and put everything aside, ofcourse I could. But I can’t. It sounds like bullshit but some people above a certain age knows what I mean. And even then, you can try your best and there is still a big chance that you will not reach that big endpoint you want. The opportunity cost is just too big. Anyway, I don’t want to discourage anyone, but I want people to realize what they want, be realistic with what they want and know the odds of accomplishing them.
Chapter 3 – How I started cont. , finding your “thing”
I’ve started listening to synthwave like 18 months ago. I don’t remember exactly how, but I was just surfing around youtube clicking random links and I’ve come across Redline album of Lazerhawk. It instantly clicked with me, like, I was so amazed at the fact that there are music like that. I didn’t even know such genre existed. After that, I started to listen synthwave like a madman. Perturbator, Carpenter Brut, Dan Terminus, Kalax, The Midnight etc. anyone that comes to your mind. I didn’t even know anyone besides myself that listen to synthwave or know such a thing existed at that point, so I started introducing the genre to my friends. Most of them didn’t like it that much, but one of them did. That resulted in him being my bandmate later on.
Anyway, I’ve come across this guy called Jordan F. I remember the first time I’ve listened to Abandoned Streets part 1 and 2, someone put them back-to-back and made a 20 min long video on youtube. That’s when I decided “Ok that’s enough, I’m gonna make music”. Hands down the most underrated synthwave artist, if not electronic music artist, by far. Unbelievable tracks.
Before synthwave, I used to listen various things, from jazz to hiphop to progressive metal etc. So after listening to tens of hours of synthwave, I had something very clear in mind, a concept. There is this town called Doomtown, which is somewhat like Gotham, everything is going to shit, society is corrupted etc, there is no hope, but suddenly 2 vigilantes start to take matters into their own hands and now there is hope and uncertainty about what the future holds. Something simple and specific enough. I’ve told about this to my bandmate and expanded on the idea, and we started to think about how we can achieve this. At some point we decided that, we wanted it to sound dark and distorted, but not to the point that it was Perturbator-ish, have extremely rhythmic hiphop-ish beats, and some screaming, screeching, soaring guitars and synths and also have like some narrative intros with sound samples and stuff. So in the end we simplified it as “Ok we are gonna do intros like Kalax, police sirens, cars sounds etc., Gramatik-like drums, Buckethead-esque guitar sounds, Jordan F-like synths/basslines. So we started to work.
Chapter 4 – Educating ourselves
I was talking about learning to make music, learning new things and education in general with a friend a while ago and I’ve realized an important thing about myself. To be simple, there are certain types of education, top-down and bottom-up are 2 of them. And I HATE bottom-up style education. For certain fields like math, physics etc. you have to learn it bottom-up. You can’t solve a limit function without knowing how to subtract or add etc, the basics of math. But when it comes to electronic music, especially in this era, we didn’t have to learn it that way. We were worrying about all the stuff we need to learn, and talk about it like “Oh man, we need to watch music theory videos on youtube and read books about it etc.” but after that realization I had, I said “You know what? Fuck that shit. We are gonna open our DAW and plugins and goof around and learn it that way until it becomes inefficient and is not enough.”
We didn’t know how an oscillator worked, we didn’t know how to create sounds of our own, we didn’t know what a scale or interval is. We literally started by preset surfing and turning knobs and pushing buttons, mumbling melodies and trying to put them down on piano roll.
We’ve made 3 extremely crappy tracks in our 1st week, and by extremely crap I mean, they didn’t sound completely dissonant and wrong, or lacked harmony. They just fell short as a whole, composition and structurewise. They were too repetitive, no dynamic range at all etc. But we had so much fun doing that. And at that point we discovered something new about ourselves. “Ok I think our ears are solid enough for this, but we need to learn what automation is, what filter is, what is this ADSR thing etc.”
If we didn’t go top-down as a direction of our education, like, if we’ve tried to learn producing the way we learn math, “Hey this is a sinewave, this is a sawwave, this does this, this is C and D and Eflat or D#”, we probably would’ve quit by the end of the day because of boredom. Because we wouldn’t know exactly how to use those information to create what we wanted. It would be an objective for us to learn those things rather than treating them as tools. But by directly going into practice without knowing a single shit, we’ve seen our shortcomings and those “objectives” became tools for us. “We need to learn how to use our DAW and softsynths properly, and learn music theory in order to achieve our goal”. Now that we know it, learning those things became rather enjoyable than a drudgery.
I’m not saying that you should do what we did, everyone is different, you can learn theory first and find it enjoyable and interesting experience, but unless you put it into practice, it doesn’t mean anything.
It might be a bold claim for someone who’s only been making music for 5 months and relatively inexperienced like I am, but I’m 100% certain that someone who don’t know jack shit in theory but practiced/goofed around in the DAW for a month and learned things that he can’t even explain how they work, will make better music than someone with, let’s say 1 month of theory and 1 week of practice.
To everyone who’s starting out, I highly recommend you to think very hard about your personal traits and your views on education and be honest to yourself, and then choose the right path that fits your personality. Because as I’ve mentioned before, if I didn’t have that epiphany, I would probably go bottom-up style and there wouldn’t be a Big Game Hunter today.
Chapter 5 – Our first good track, setting goals, developing a view on what being a musician is, discovering where we are in the curve
Ok so, I want to clear out something real quick before moving forward. I have no intention of writing this post to brag, and I also don’t want to create an image of arrogance by leading people to think I’m projecting false modesty. So I’m gonna write stuff for what they are, according to the feedback we’ve got so far from relatively big amount of non-family and friends people. When I say “good track”, I don’t mean the track is good according to us, but to most people who have listened to it. They consider it a solid track.
We’ve made a track called Brambles. And the track’s backbone is literally a preset from Sylenth1. The track wouldn’t exist without that preset. I was goofing around in the DAW, trying to learn the arpeggiator, arp-gates, delay etc. built-in stuff in sylenth, and I was looking for presets as a reference, to see how they did it, so I can somewhat reverse engineer the process by turning knobs and going like “Ah ok so this decides how fast the arpeggio plays, this is the panning of delay, hmm.” that kind of stuff. I chose this random preset and pressed a button to see how does it sound and, god what a beautiful sound. I liked it so much. We were already working on a track at the time, so I thought that we should add this sound to the track and see what happens. It fit in so perfectly, and as I’ve mentioned earlier, became the backbone of the track and carried it on its shoulders. After the track is finished we started seeking feedback to see how we’re doing. After around 30 people, we knew that we would make an album. Most of the people liked it and actually found it impressive that we were able to create such a track with 2 weeks of experience.
Most of them were people from music production discords so some of them recognized the preset. And I started to feel worried and have shitton of questions in my head like; “Oh shit, what if someone already used it somewhere else? What if these people don’t take us serious because we use a 1 button arp? Do we lose respect? What will happen? Will this result in people replicating our track easily? Does it make us less of a producer?”
I know answers to all those questions now, and if you have the same or similar questions, let me answer them for you. Doesn’t matter times 5 and no.
Random number time to make a point again; 95% of the people that likes your track will say it’s a cool sound, 4.5% will not like it, and 0.5% which are producers that knows the preset will just roll their eyes and say “Fucking assholes didn’t even do anything. They just push 1 button.”
I mean ofcourse having your unique sounds is important and we eventually learned to make our own sounds for the other tracks in the album because we had to, but I don’t feel bad at all about putting a preset driven track in the album. Your aim should be to create tracks that YOU AND OTHER PEOPLE like by all means. Now, there is a reason why I’ve written ‘YOU AND OTHER PEOPLE’, not just you, and I will try to address this in a future chapter where I will talk about marketing.
Ok, so let me get back on track. After our first well recieved track which also happened to be our 5th track, we knew that there is no reason to downplay it. We became aware that we are ahead of the curve one way or the other; either we have reached our ceiling pretty quickly and we won’t produce tracks that are much better than Brambles in the future, or we are just talented. After that we’ve kept practicing, pumping out tracks, working non-stop like 8-10 hours a day for 2 months straight and we’ve literally had our 7 track EP in 3 months after starting making music.
Now this is where this post will become funny for some people, but I’m afraid I’m dead serious about everything I’ll say below and I totally believe those to be true. I’d like to touch on a subject that I’ve also realized along the journey, which is extremely relevant to this topic. Some people are gonna burst in laughter and the laughter is gonna get worse as they keep reading but I need to say it anyway.
I used to play Dota 2, and I was around 3.5k mmr for a long time after I switched from HoN(there wasn’t actually public mmr when I switched but you could see it via console). After a while I was sick of bouncing around 3.5k mmr and wanted to climb higher in the ladder. I’ve been playing MOBA games for years, dota1, hon, lol, dota2, but I haven’t been able pass a certain threshold, like I’ve played MOBA games more than 10000 hours combined, I should’ve become a professional gamer by that time, but I was nowhere near it. I started to think of a reason why, and decided that I was just not talented enough. But after a while I’ve decided to watch streams of professional players and practice stuff deliberately, like map movements, last hitting, teamfight positioning etc. and it took me only 1 month to climb up from 3.5k mmr to 5k. (On league of legend terms it's like going from plat 4 to diamond 2).
I have learned something very important from that climbing the ladder experience in a video game.
I’m going to give you the single most important advice of all times, in almost every aspect of life where you are trying to get better at a certain subject or field.
YOU DO NOT GET BETTER THAN A CERTAIN THRESHOLD AT ANYTHING UNLESS YOU CONSCIOUSLY TRY TO IMPROVE.
And that threshold is your talent.
Yes. The reason is that simple. I’ve played the matches on autopilot, I never tried to become a better player. I never thought about the game strategically. I just played instinctively, which I’ve developed from tons of matches I’ve played prior to that. I instinctively could make the right decisions up to the point where I get stuck in the 3.5k mmr because I don’t get above 50% winrate anymore.
Same goes for music. You can be, technically, a musician for 10 years if you have started making music in 2008, but if you didn’t put in the practice worth of 10 years, there is no way you are above a certain level.
2 months of experience, 4 months of experience, 5 months of experience, these are gonna sound like a joke to many people, BUT with deliberate, efficient practice, it’s not that joke of a time. We’ve been grinding our asses in our DAWs for average of 6-8 hours a day for the last 5 months, and learning theoretical stuff outside of our DAWs aswell, with the only intention of getting better. 10000 hour of deliberate practice rule is real and we have chewed over 1000 hours of it. I’m pretty sure there are some people in the world who technically has less experience than we have, making music for 2 months, but are way better than us because they’ve put in more efficient deliberate practice hours than we did, and also there are some people in the world who has 2 years of experience who is way worse than us because they have been autopiloting the whole process. When I saw or listened to something amazing, I used to think that it’s just talent, and it’s some magical thing but it’s not. The quality of the work is directly proportional to the amount of your practice to get better.
I started to define talent as; Your ceiling when you are autopiloting stuff. On a scale from 1 to 10, if you have 5/10 talent towards music, that’s the highest you’ll ever become as a musician unless you consciously try to get better and surpass it.
Anyway this chapter has been very long, I think I’ve talked about the main points I had in my mind. Huge props if you have read this far.
Chapter 6 – Don’t take everything personal, don’t take everything too literal, Whiplash the Movie was right, being patient is important
Couple years ago I had a conversation with a friend of mine. I don’t remember exact details but he was upset about an incident that happened to him. He was talking to someone in his college and the guy he was talking to started spewing bullshit, like started to say very stupid, ridiculous things(Earth is flat kinda stupid), and was about to make a stupid decision, but my friend says that the guy is actually pretty smart.
And in their conversation, my friend told him that he is talking nonsense and being stupid. The guy suddenly became irrationally upset and started to verbally attack my friend like how he is actually the one that is stupid etc.
This is a problem I’ve observed and I think it’s especially dominant in our generation(Millenials and forward). People have this weird thought processes like “He is claiming that what I’m saying is stupid therefore he must think I am stupid, therefore he tells me that I am stupid.”
No. Smart people can say stupid things, smart people can do stupid things. Smart people can sometimes be stupid.
Around 2 months ago, we were asking for feedback on our 7 track EP at the time, we’ve posted on couple facebook groups etc. and we got some feedback but we also wanted more professional opinion, so we discovered that Wice is streaming on twitch, and we asked him on his stream if he could listen to our album and give us feedback. He picked up a random track and literally trashed it. He didn’t even listen to it fully because you could see it in his face that he can’t stand how bad it was. He said the intro was extremely good, we are setting up for something epic, but then we blow the track up with a boring, extremely shit follow-up.
(I hope he doesn’t get mad and block us if he reads this lol). At the time, we just thought and said to ourselves “He probably just didn’t like it. It’s not that bad. What a pretentious, cocky asshole, fuck him” etc. But after we went through the emotional frustration part, we actually watched the replay of the stream and actually hear what he had to say and learn from it, I mean what’s the point of getting feedback if you’re gonna ignore it?
1 week later, we were working on remaking the track completely except its intro, we also asked for follow-up feedbacks like what he thinks of the new version etc. He still found it boring but it wasn’t utter shit anymore, and he also told us “don’t try to be clever and turn the track into something that it’s not”. 2 months have passed since. Do you know what we think? Wice was right. Like the rightest person on the whole planet (I wish rightest was an actual word, it sounds cool). We have butchered that track in its first version. And even in its latest version, we think it's one of the worse/filler tracks in the album. At that point we came to the conclusion that maybe we should actually slow down a bit, instead of rushing to get out an EP as soon as possible, maybe we should just wait and make more tracks, get more experience, get a bigger perspective, listen to our older tracks with fresh ears and see if we still like them, try to apply new things we’ve learned in the meantime to our older tracks, and make them better etc.
Now we are sitting with 13 tracks, polishing them more and more after each ear-reset cycle, and we will keep doing this about 3-4 more weeks before we finally release the album.
I’m not sure if we’ll get a lot of attention when we release our album, but hypothetically speaking, let’s say we released the album and got some attention. One thing I’m damn sure is, if we’ve listened to the positive feedbacks mostly and didn’t give a shit about negative ones, and released the album as 7 track EP as how it was 2 months ago, we would’ve gotten 0 attention. We might still not get attention with its current state, but the chance of getting attention is astronomically higher.
So the “not quite my tempo” guy in Whiplash is right. Good job doesn’t do shit for your growth as a musician. And I’m sorry for being rude, but if you are sharing your tracks under the name of “feedback” but actually you are only there just to flaunt and hear the “good job"s, you are being an idiot, and you should actively try to change yourself in that regard.
Chapter 7 – Marketing in general and some bullshit that people spread
Ok this will be the last chapter. I’m not an expert in marketing. Hell I’m not an expert in anything about music. But let me tell you what I think I know and what I’ve observed so far. I’ve come up with somewhat of an equation to visualize this. When it comes to marketing, there are 3 variables. And all of them and their coefficients depends on the genre of music you make. I’m gonna throw some random numbers again, so you can get the idea. Our variables are 1) Lottery Factor - A number between 0.00001 and 0.0000001 2) Quality Factor – A number between 10 and 100 3) Marketing Factor – A number between 10 and 100 a, b, c are our coefficients, lets say they are between 1 and 10.
The chance of you becoming popular and successful is (AxLF x BxQF x CxMF) I’m gonna give example on pop music and synthwave music with random numbers.
For synthwave, the Lottery Factor is relatively high, because the genre itself is pretty niche and it’s not oversaturated yet, so it’s relatively easy to get attention. And since it’s already relatively easy to get attention, Marketing Factor is relatively low. Synthwave is where quality trumps all and coefficient B is at maximum value. As long as you make good tracks, you have a very good chance of getting the attention. I’m not saying marketing is not important or you don’t need to be lucky, you do, but their effectiveness is significantly lower compared to Pop music for example. And in synthwave, the biggest contribution comes from the quality. But in pop music, there is shitton more competition, so Lottery Factor is extremely low, bringing down your chances, and the only way you may get famous is make very good quality tracks and have extremely good marketing. And even then, you still might not become famous because the chance is still too low. I’ve watched several youtube videos with a shit ass clickbait title where people say “as long as you make good music, you’ll get noticed”. Fuck off and get real ok? There are thousands if not millions of people producing very good music and all they do is sitting on their couch wondering “How the hell that amazing track didn’t make it into charts.”. Making good music is just buying additional lottery tickets, it surely increases your chances but nothing big.
Guys music is not that simple. I used to think it was simple before I started making music. I used to say things like “Ewww Rihanna, disgusting music. How do people even listen to this Despacito shit ewww”, “People are idiots, general public/society is so dumb, how can they listen to this crap.”
You may not respect pop singers because they don’t produce their music, or write their music, and think of them as “They are just performers.”, That’s ok, I get that.
But just because I hate it doesn’t make the music shit ok? None of us are the center of the universe, or an authority on this matter. Nobody is forcing 1 billion people to listen to Despacito. People listen to it because it’s well made and it’s catchy. Despacito, in a particular timeframe where it became a hit song, is the lottery winner out of all the tracks it has competed against within the quality and marketing domain. There might be some tracks that have spent more money on marketing than Despacito(more money doesn’t mean better marketing anyway), but maybe Despacito had a better quality factor and surpassed other tracks because of that, or simply even though maybe it was a worse track, it won the lottery and became the most famous track of its time. I’m not saying Despacito is objectively a masterpiece and everyone has to agree with that, it might fail the test of time and noone might remember it 10 years from now. It’s not an all-time great yet, but it's undeniably very successful track for its time.
By the way, I should mention that I don’t think the more popular = better. I’m just using numbers like total views, sales etc. to put its success in a quantifiable way. So if your perception of success is making tracks that your family likes, you don’t have to worry about any of this. But if you are like I am, someone who hopes to turn music into full-time career and pay rent with it, you need to consider these stuff. “I don’t care if people don’t like my music” doesn’t work here. If you want to even survive/get by, by making music, you need to make music that other people like.
Anyway I can’t think of anything else that I want to write about, it’s extremely long anyway. Thank you for reading my Great Wall of China. I might turn this into some kind of autobiography in the future, maybe. I hope I have shared some interesting and useful things for aspiring, or established producers out there.
Be well =)
submitted by BigGameHunterMusic to synthwaveproducers

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